Journey to Wholeness

The journey to wholeness requires that you look honestly, openly and with courage into yourself, into the dynamics that lie behind what you feel, what you perceive, what you value, and how you act. It is a journey through your defenses and beyond so that you can experience consciously the nature of your personality, face what it has produced in your life, and choose to change that.
--Gary Zukav

Wether you explain it with the saying, Opposites attract or Like draws like, there is something mystical about the way we attract people into our lives , particularly our lovers. There is a divine setup working that ensures we attract the people who will cause us to take a deeper look at ourselves. The people we are attracted to and who are attracted to us are the ones who volunteer to help us heal our unseen wounds.

Within each of us are the impressions of every experience we have had in our lifetime. Some of those impressions are smooth. Some are very rocky. Some of the imprints are shallow. Others are very deep. The depth and texture of each one depends on our response, our reaction during an experience. The smoother, more shallow impression indicates a gentle, more peaceful experience. The rougher, deeper imprints indicate harsh, less loving experiences. As we have new experiences, some of the patterns are repeated, creating mental and emotional responses within us.

As far as relationships are concerned, we attract people whose impressions are similar to our own, The interactions we have with the other person evoke the responses within us that require healing. By the same token, our behavior stirs the responses that are imprinted within the other. The healing takes place when we choose a new response.

The next time your interactions with another person evoke anger, fear, sadness, or any other painful response, know that you are in the process of healing. In the precise moment that you feel the need to react, call on love and thank the other person for showing you things about yourself that you need to know.

Until today, you may not have understood why you have certain reactions to certain people in certain situations. Just for today, when someone evokes a negative response in you, remember that they are helping you to heal.

Today I am devoted to healing the wounded spaces in me.

-Iyanla Vanzant, Until Today! - Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind ©2000

What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot-dog vendor?
"Can you make me one with everything?"

Even the most casual of experiences with other human beings are not without reason, not accidental. How absurd, you say? Think about it. Even the bad experiences, the horrendous ones, drew us to another person for a lesson we needed, and if the outcome was bad, how could that have been good for us? How can this "education" be so painful? If there were not some points of commonality, they would not be in your Path, nor you in theirs. More often than not, we learn more from the difficult and hurtful ones, anyway. That is a difficult concept for anyone to wrap their mind around. As for the good experiences, we find a level of quiet peace in the presence of some people, a feeling that we are in tune with them, not competitive, mistrusting or superior, but warmly alike. They are walking a common Path and we join with them, or they join us, and we are more because of that.

When we look for and see the Spirit working within others, knowing that they are on their Path, when we understand that, just like us, they are struggling; when we stop looking for what we can get from the relationships and start looking for what we can give to them, acceptance and forgiveness will draw us together. But in order to make all of our relationships work well, a desire for peace and a willingness to forgive simply must be greater than the wish to be right and in control.

Gary Zukav speaks at length about "spiritual partnerships," those relationships which are formed on the basis of equality, common values, perceptions and actions, in which two people are drawn together and committed to promote their own spiritual growth and that of each other. He maintains that this type of relationship requires two healthy and inwardly secure individuals. As a spiritual partner, he contends, you realize that the lessons you are to learn are there for both, each playing their part in the process. And these lessons are the same that are to be learned by the group (co-workers or family, for instance), the community, and the nation in union with other groups, communities and nations. But I don't think that you must be totally healthy and totally secure within yourself to begin to see your relationships, the good ones at least, on the basis of a spiritual partnership as he defines it.

Wherever you are in your life, you have "work" to do. And the job is always the same. You will be just exactly where you need to be, you will be doing just exactly what you need to be doing, and the lesson will be there for you to learn, again and again, until you have it. That is healing. And, to help us do all that, we will draw those people to us who need to learn from us as we play a part in their healing, or who need to be there to play a part in ours. How you see one person, one relationship, influences how you see all people, and all relationships.

Every person who crosses our Path on this journey to wholeness is a potential learning partner. We share a mission here, and we will complete it, eventually.



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